Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
