Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
