I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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