i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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