Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
