I'm gonna have a badass scar
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize