I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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