My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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