I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
