they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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