Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
