Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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