Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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