Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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