Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize