if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
