Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Pooping to opera.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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