I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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