I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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