its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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