He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
