Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
