apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
