I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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