Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
