I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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