We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
