too bad you live with your parents still
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
