i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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