when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
