My liver just broke up with me...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
