Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
