Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love having hate sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
