we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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