R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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