You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize