I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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