i just identified you from a description of your pipe
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize