Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
