You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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