Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize