omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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