Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
