have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize