How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
