I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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