Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
