i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
