come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
