saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
