I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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