Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she peed on how many people?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
