Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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