I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I checked into jail on foursquare
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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