I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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