just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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