I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
