don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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