i wish my penis had a tongue
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
