When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
