What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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