Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
