we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
