Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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