Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
